Nowadays, there are many families with one or two children. Since I was young, I have also tried hard to make friends that fit my child. They went to a children’s cafe with mothers at a daycare center and made time for their children to play with their friends on weekends, and they had frequent meetings with friends they met at kindergarten to create an environment where they could meet various friends. When I was in elementary school, I identified my friends through class meetings and invited them to my house or bought them delicious food to make friends to and from school. I wanted to learn sharing that I didn’t learn from my brother through my friend, and I wanted to make sure that I didn’t feel lonely because I didn’t have any friends. I was also pleased to see the child’s expression of joy when I was with my friend. But is it really related to a child’s self-esteem through friends that parents make friends with? In conclusion, my friends from daycare centers, kindergartens, and elementary schools, which I tried to make with my time and effort, have not been contacted until now. Friends who are doing well next to the child now find friends who suit his or her preferences, and are with them on weekdays and weekends.
What I overlooked when I made a child’s friend was that I tried to force a child into a child who I thought was exemplary in the eyes of parents, not a friend who fits the child’s tendency. The friend I got to know through the class meeting in elementary school was a good student, a good greeting to the teacher, and a good example to everyone. I tried to maintain a close relationship with my friend’s parents in the hope that the child would be well influenced by him. However, it is said that children are often ignored by their friends in school, or physically overpowering small children by force. In addition, as it was common to quarrel with my child, I found that a friend who seemed exemplary and kind in the eyes of an adult was not a kind friend to easy children in the classroom.
I realized. No matter how hard a mother tries to make friends, it is the child’s job to keep the relationship deep, and the relationship is no longer meaningful if it cannot be resolved on its own when conflicts arise between friends.
A high-grade child does not find it difficult to make new friends. However, as time goes by, there are friends who treat or tease good children recklessly. There are many friends who sometimes call this behavior a joke. Because I don’t want to make uncomfortable feelings, I endure it once or twice, so my friends’ teasing and behavior get worse. One day, the child returned from school and revealed his discomfort with his teasing friend, and I sympathized with the child’s uncomfortable feelings and recommended him to talk more strongly when teasing. If you have a chance, you can express your position strongly even with slang, it is good to do so.” The next day, the child talked about his discomfort strongly with slang, and since then, he has stopped teasing the child, and he is getting along well with the friend so far.
No one enjoys fighting, but it takes courage to fight. It is clear that revealing emotions and conveying my uncomfortable feelings is a process I want to avoid. The courage to talk about uncomfortable feelings also comes from experience. You have to say it yourself so that you can say what you want to say and what you have to say. There is nothing better than this if you get along well without fighting, but a child definitely needs the courage to express my thoughts and be honest with his feelings. The child’s self-esteem for his or her friend is created through his or her experience of facing and resolving conflicts arising from friendship relationships.